Finding my Joy as a Mother

This has been the path of growth this year for me. With that has come some changes in our home that has enabled me to begin my path of becoming a greater Mother for these little ones that have been sent here to our home. With much of it being slower than I wanted, so this has been part of my learning too.

Last week while sitting through a day of classes it hit me as I sat there feeling totally and completely overwhelmed with where I am not as a Mother. I felt this hit with such clarity in my heart.

" My dearest Taundra, if I wanted all my children to be Tom's or Sally's. I would have made you all exact with same experiences and growth. But I don't. I want individuals born to become who they were meant to become which means individual life's experiences different from one to another".

Wow! What could I say. What an amazing gift of comfort I have felt since than. Coming to understand what is not expected of me (where others may be & I am not) has lifted not just the feelings of comparing but given me freedom to feel good about where I am as a Mother. This topic of comparing is covered in one of my classes I have started to teach out of my home. " Building a Greater "You" within Me". I love when the Lord reminds us over and over the things we know but need to still improve upon.

One of the things we have decided on was to pull our children closer into the home and family by teaching them an education at home. It has been fun discovering and learning as parents what the most important things are. That has been a whole lot tougher than just typing out the words to this entry. Little by little we are forming some guidelines for us and the children. We have found a wonderful structure that does a beautiful job not only supporting a scholar education but most important one that supports our beliefs. It is called "A Thomas Jefferson Education" It uses phases that are natural to learning. This coupled with the support of Heavenly Father and his guidance will provide for these little ones their own "becoming".

This has also done something within me I don't think I had yet felt up to this time. I have felt freedom to be the Mother I was always meant to become. I love it!!!! It seems strange I was always thinking I needed just one more hour of quite time, and then it would happen and I would become that mother. While those moments are still important for me they are not as much the "becoming" moments as they are the needed moments of survival. For some crazy weird reason I feel like I have all the permission in the universe to not care for anything else during our time each day together. No phones, no door bells, just me and the kids. What can I say - a break from the world. To truly follow a scripture. (I always read this under a different lens). Matthew 10:39 - Who ever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it".

Let my testimony be born here that I know these children belong to Him and I have found my life in my children. It is through this tough process that I am stretch each day to lower my voice & speak kindly, say I am sorry, try again, and in most cases repeat the process. As I have lost myself I have found myself in the Joys of Motherhood. I know my Savior lives and redeems me every day. He makes me new and gives the rising sun to shine upon our household. This is joy, something of eternal nature. Even in my imperfections. It is just not wise for me to pass by these learning experiences without my Savior if I am to "become" a Mother filled with Joy.

Proverbs 14:1 - "The wise women builds her house

Proverbs 31:25-28

25 Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her.

Love,